EP 125: Power, Regulation, and Leadership: Connecting to Your Personal Power with Dr. Amanda Aguilera

In Twelve Step programs, the first step, as I understand it, is recognizing that we are powerless to heal alone.We cannot overcome addiction, trauma, or systemic oppression through sheer willpower or individual effort. Healing, recovery, and meaningful change require connection, support, and systems that foster growth.All true! But we should not make a virtue out of being powerless.Recognizing what is beyond your ability isn’t the same as accepting that you are powerless to change. Powerlessness is, in fact, a protective response that disconnects us from our personal power.When we conflate protection with powerlessness, we risk internalizing the very dynamics that keep us trapped in authoritarian systems—whether in families, partnerships, workplaces, faith communities, or governments.Power-over systems create environments where speaking up feels dangerous, where challenging authority risks humiliation or exile. But no matter the system or oppression, we always retain what Right Use of Power methodology calls our personal power. And that’s precisely why authoritarian structures work so hard to make us feel otherwise.Owning your personal power in an authoritarian system requires deep, intentional work. And we cannot do it alone.My guest today will introduce you to the types of power in the Right Use of Power framework and help you reconnect with your personal power so that you can stand firm and do hard, scary, necessary things.Dr. Amanda Aguilera currently serves as the Executive Director of the Right Use of Power Institute and a Trusted Advisor at The Ally Co. She has dedicated most of her career to helping people and organizations understand systems, conflict, and social power dynamics to create right relationship and a sense of belonging. She has a knack for making difficult conversations easier, complex ideas more accessible, and resistance more workable. Integrating power, contemplative practices, neurobiology, and restorative practices, she works by finding a balance of head and heart and facilitating the co-creation of strategic maps that lead us forward in a more equitable way.Listen to the full episode to hear:How the Right Use of Power framework gave Amanda language to understand and articulate powerWhy power itself is fundamentally neutralHow Right Use of Power reframes power as a dynamic and not a possessionBreaking down the six types of power from personal to universalWhy direct challenges to status power are so often destabilizing How undeveloped personal power leads people to do harm with their role and status powerWhy we have to become aware of how power exists in our relationshipsHow developing our personal power helps us to participate in the collective power that can actually challenge systemsHow leaders can foster healthy power differential relationshipsLearn more about Dr. Amanda Aguilera:Right Use of Power InstituteInstagram: @rightuseofpowerinstituteLearn more about Rebecca:rebeccaching.comWork With RebeccaThe Unburdened Leader on SubstackSign up for the weekly Unburdened Leader EmailResources:EP 88: Right-Use-of-Power: Navigating Leadership Dynamics with Dr. Cedar BarstowEP 14: Consenting to Grief as a Leadership Practice with Dean Nelson, PhDBreathing Under Water: Spirituality and the Twelve Steps, Richard RohrAll About Love, bell hooksMarie BeechamAlt National Park ServiceFalling Back in Love with Being Human: Letters to Lost Souls, Kai Cheng ThomIndigo Girls - Closer to FinePoseThe Karate Kid Star Wars