Episode 221 Our VBAC Link Doula Sarah's Beautiful VBAC Story

“If you want to have a VBAC, trying is so empowering. If it’s on your heart, you have to go for it because it’s possible.”We have had her on the pod as a fabulous cohost a few times, but now we get to hear Sarah’s own VBAC story today! After a PROM and stalled long labor, Sarah was told her pelvis was too small. She was labeled as a “failure to progress” and “once a Cesarean, always a Cesarean”.  Sarah put in the work to change the way she let outside opinions influence her choices. She didn’t let self-doubt control her thoughts and surrounded herself with positivity. Sarah went all in for her VBAC and everything worked out beautifully!Additional LinksEntering Motherhood PodcastSarah’s InstagramHow to VBAC: The Ultimate Prep Course for ParentsFull Transcript under Episode DetailsFull TranscriptMeagan: Hello, this is Meagan with The VBAC Link and we have another VBAC story coming for you. Today is actually kind of a fun episode because we have one of our own VBAC doulas. She’s actually been a cohost on a couple of episodes, so this is really fun to have her be on the other side of things instead of being a cohost, now sharing her story. I am so excited, Sarah, for you to be with us today. She is a mom of two, a wife, and a mechanical engineer. Since entering into motherhood herself, she has become certified in postpartum nutrition and is a birth and postpartum doula which I think is amazing. Postpartum nutrition is such a big factor. We are going to hopefully have a special guest on here sometime maybe in the spring and she’s going to talk about that and how nutrition can play a huge factor in our recovery and how our incisions, like our C-section scars, heal and how it can impact VBAC. It’s amazing, so I love that you are certified in postpartum nutrition. If you have anything that you would like to share at the end of this, please be my guest and definitely share anything. I am so excited for you to be here today. Review of the WeekMeagan: I’m going to read a review and then we are going to jump into your amazing story. Sarah: Sounds good. Meagan: Perfect. This is a more recent, August 2022 and it’s from Connor Alyse Hoelle. Sorry, I’m really bad at names obviously. I’m probably butchering it. But the review says, “I was planning on waiting until I give birth to leave a review, but I love this podcast so much. I have to do it now. Julie and Meagan have created such a fantastic and empowering resource in The VBAC Link podcast. When I first got pregnant, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to pursue a VBAC and had a lot of self-doubts. Now, I’m just a few weeks from my due date” so I bet she’s had her baby because right now it’s the end of 2022 “ and thanks to this podcast, I’m genuinely so excited to go into labor. I’m been binging every episode and can’t believe how much it has changed my perspective and increased my confidence in my body and my baby. I promise you’ll be hearing an update from me afterward.”So Alyse, we would love to hear the update and see how things went and see how you’re feeling about your birth. I love that she has been with us and binging. It warms my heart so much. So if you also have a review, please never hesitate to drop us one. You can leave it on Apple Podcasts. I think Google Play maybe, actually, I don’t have Google Play so don’t quote me on that but if you can’t do it on Google Play, you can to go Google. Just search “The VBAC Link” and leave a review there or you can send us a message on Instagram. You know all of the things. I say it every time, but we love your reviews, so please if you wouldn’t mind, leave us one. Sarah’s StoriesMeagan: Okay, Sarah. Are you excited? I’m excited. Sarah: I am, yeah. I am just super thankful to be here. Like you said, I was able to be a cohost on some other episodes but to be able to share my story is just something that’s near and dear to my heart. I love sharing it, so I’m happy to be here. Meagan: Well, thank you. Share away. Anything that you would like listeners to hear. Sarah: Well obviously, every VBAC story begins with a Cesarean. Like many other episodes, I am just going to briefly go over what went on with my Cesarean. With my first, she was born in August of 2019 and it was an unplanned Cesarean. I was a first-time mom doing all of the things, quote-on-quote, all of the things I felt like I was supposed to do. I was reading books and talking to other moms. I took a birth course. I had a baby shower. I was looking at all of the cute baby things. I went to all of my prenatal appointments and was checking all of the boxes. I was even seeing a chiropractor. I had a doula. I was just doing all of the things that I felt I needed to do to prepare. I was convinced that I was going to have a completely normal, unmedicated birth. I was just going to walk into the hospital, pop out my baby, and just start this new life of a family of three and being a mom. Everything was just going to work out. Obviously, I’m here because that did not go according to plan like most of our Cesarean experiences. Actually, very similar to your story, my water broke first. Meagan: Mmm, yeah. Sarah: I was just shy of 39 weeks and I got up to pee and sure enough, there was a little bit of a pop and trickle down my leg. I was like, “Man, I peed myself.” I was fully convinced that this was just pee and I was super embarrassed. I went to the bathroom and just continued on. Sure enough, every time I went to stand up, I just kept on peeing a little. Meagan: Like how much pee do I have?Sarah: I was like, “This is weird.” I’ve never been pregnant before. I’m so far along, maybe this is normal. There I am. Of course, we all have our phones when we’re on the toilet. I’m sitting there Googling, “What happens when your water breaks?” or “What is it like when your water breaks?” All of these scenarios are running through my head because everything leading up to that point was basically, “Oh, your water’s never going to break. It’s not going to be until later on in your labor.” Everything like that, and sure enough, soon after, I believe it was my mucus plug that came out. It’s honestly so hard to try and look back on the experience knowing what I know now and say, “What actually happened?” There’s no way of being able to go back and actually relive it through the lens that you have now, so it’s really crazy to go back and everything, but we were there in the moment and just convinced, “Okay. Water broke. What do we do?” Sure enough, it was just like, “Well, I guess we go to the hospital.” Meagan: That’s what I was told. It was like, “If your water breaks, you come straight in.” So I was like, “Okay, cool.” So my water broke and what did I do? We got ready and we went in. Sarah: Yeah. So here I am. I remember my husband took a picture of me standing outside of the hospital. I was happy like, “Okay, we’re going to go have the baby now. The water broke. This is great.” I was just convinced that this was all cool. Like, “All right. Baby’s coming. My water broke. I must be doing something right.”I got there. They checked me. I wasn’t even a centimeter dilated. They were just like, “Okay. We’ll see what happens, but you’re staying here.” That, I think, really threw me in for a loop. I figured that I was going to be staying there, but I did not think I wasn’t even a centimeter dilated. I did not. Meagan: Right, because you think, “Water breaks, I’m in labor.” Sarah: Mhmm. It’s go-time. Meagan: We associate water breaking with the movies where it’s like, “Hurry! Get to the hospital! We’re going to have a baby.” But in hindsight, we weren’t really contracting or anything like that. Sarah: Not much was going on. Knowing what I know now, sure. I should have stayed home and all of these things, but again, in the moment and in that situation, it’s like, “Okay. Go to the hospital. Show up.” So now, here I am at the hospital and contractions did pick up. They put the monitors on me and set me all up. It was just kind of like shock. I was like, “This is happening. I’m having a baby. What’s going on?” So almost through every single contraction, I was shaking and then I was throwing up. From my birth class, it was like, “Oh, if you’re shaking and throwing up, you might be going through transition.”So again, I’m like, “Oh yay. My body is doing what it’s supposed to. I’m so far along. Let’s do this.” And sure enough, I was only at a 2. They were doing all of the cervical checks. I remember specifically this one nurse said to me– so I was only at 2 centimeters at the time and she was like, “Oh honey if this is how you are at a 2, you’re never going to make it to a 10. You should just get the epidural now.” Meagan: Awesome. Thank you so much for the encouragement. Sarah: I was just defeated. Over and over in my head, I’m like, “This isn’t how it’s supposed to be. This isn’t what is supposed to happen. What’s going on?” And of course, you can’t stop birth. It’s coming. It’s going. Things are moving and all I wanted to do was just take a moment and pause and stop. My body didn’t want to. It was just all happening. Naturally, I was just so defeated. I had only made it to 4 centimeters a few hours later after she had said this and I was still trying to motivate myself. I had my doula there. She was like, “You can do this. You’re okay.” I was shaking and feeling so scared and just not able to calm down. I think I took what the nurse had said and also just how I was feeling and was like, “I’m never going to be able to relax. I’m never going to be able to do what my body needs to do to get this baby out.” I was like, “Let’s do the epidural. Let’s just see where this goes.” It let me relax, but ultimately what I was feeling was just all of the pressure. She was posterior and it was just a lot of pressure and everything going on. I think maybe if we did some repositioning, that could have helped, but you never know what’s really going on. With the epidural, I was able to relax and calm down. I wasn’t shaking anymore. Meagan: Yeah, which makes it more pleasant. Sarah: Right, yeah. I was like, “Okay. I can get through this. This is fine.” I had gotten to 7 centimeters. Now, they were amping up the checks because I had the epidural, so why not?Meagan: You can’t feel it, so why not? Sarah: Right, and then I was approaching that 24-hour mark since my water had broken. I did get to 9 centimeters, but they were just saying, “This is taking too long. You should have progressed further at this point. We should really start to consider Cesarean so that we don’t fall into any emergency situations.”Meagan: Did they offer any intervention to help you get over that little hump? Was there any talk there like, “Hey, let’s give you 2mL of Pit. Let’s do something.”Sarah: Yeah, really nothing was discussed in that sense, but I found out afterward when I was pregnant with my second that I did have Pitocin. I was hooked up to antibiotics because I was GBS positive and then after the epidural, I believe they just added on the Pitocin. Meagan: But didn’t really talk to you about it. Sarah: No because my provider with my second was like, “Oh, so you had PItocin and everything.” I was like, “I did? No.” They were like, “Well, that’s what it says here in your report. I had no idea that they were even administering Pitocin. Maybe that’s what helped me progress further, but ultimately, it was just not moving as fast as they would like. Meagan: Yeah. Ultimately, it was that lovely failure to wait. Especially because your body went into spontaneous labor, rupture of membranes spontaneously and then it needed its time. There were some interventions which sometimes, not always, but sometimes can slow the body down because the body is like, “Whoa, hold on,” and then it catches back up, but maybe it sounds like they didn’t give you that time to catch it back up. Sarah: Yeah, yeah. It was just one thing after another. After the word “Cesarean” was thrown into the picture, I was just like, ”Oh my goodness. It hasn’t even been 24 hours and I have gone from wanting a completely unmedicated birth to now thinking a Cesarean is in the picture.” I just sat. I laid there in the bed just honestly praying and hoping and saying, “Whatever my body needs to do to get this baby out, allow it to happen.” They came back in and checked me. I still wasn’t dilated, so they just prepped the OR and I ended up with a Cesarean for my first birth. It was just like we said, I was classified as a “failure to progress”. They were convinced that maybe the baby was too large. My pelvis was too small. All of these things were being documented in my report. “This woman had this happen.”In their mind, they were thinking, “She’s never going to have a vaginal birth.” This is just a classic, “Oh, she’s going to always have Cesareans if she wants any more kids.” I think that was the picture that they drew up in my file and what was laid out for me with that provider. So going into my 6-week postpartum appointment, I was already like, “Okay. I have to have a vaginal birth. I want more kids. What does this mean?” They basically said, “Oh, well because of your situation, you could try again, but it’s probably going to result in the same situation.” They were already telling me that I should just go for a repeat Cesarean if I were to ever have kids again. Obviously, that did not happen, but I had to really put in a lot of work for myself and my education. I found this podcast. I started my own. It was just all of this rush of, “I need to figure out how I can get this to happen because I’m not getting that support from my provider of believing that I can do this. I know it’s not the story of “once a Cesarean, always a Cesarean” anymore. People are doing this. People are having very successful VBACs. It’s one of those things where if you choose to have a repeat Cesarean, that’s your thing, but if you want to have a VBAC, I feel like trying is something that is so empowering. If it’s on your heart, you have to go for it because it’s possible. Meagan: It is possible and what’s so hard for me to hear is what you just said. Before even getting pregnant or before even getting there, we have these providers placing doubt and fear in our minds. When I say doubt, it’s doubting our body can do it, but also, they pretty much say, “Well, sure. You can try but it’s going to end up the same way, so why waste your time? Just go in and have a baby.” So we’re being placed with all of these seeds. They’re being placed before we even fall pregnant again, so then we are doubting ourselves. I’m just going to say it how it is. It bugs the living crap out of me. It bugs me so much that we have people placing doubt in our ability to have a baby when they don’t know. Sarah: Right. I could have easily been like, “Oh okay. From now on, I’m going to always have Cesareans.” I could have gotten pregnant with my second and scheduled a full-on Cesarean and that would be the path that it went, but I had that successful VBAC. I had a baby come out of my vagina. It was possible. It’s just crazy that I think we need to share these stories. We need to show that it’s possible to send some shock to the providers and make them see, “Okay. We can rethink this situation.” It is something that’s going on. Obviously, women are doing this.  It’s really crazy. That provider too was like, “Oh, I just delivered a baby from a mom that had her 10th Cesarean. You can have as many as you’d like.” Meagan: Kind of funny, coincidentally I should say that you said that. We just had someone commenting. I did a reel on breech and she said that she had 10 Cesareans. 10. That is a lot of Cesareans. It is. She just said, “I wish I knew what I know now.” The same thing. That’s the hardest part. We can’t shame ourselves for not knowing then what we know now because that is how this works. We grow. We learn. We experience things and that is what morphs us into the passionate people or passionate person that wants to have a VBAC, right? And again, it’s no shame to those that don’t want to. That’s okay too. It’s just a matter of knowing, “Hey guys, really though. It’s really possible. It really is, and don’t doubt your body for a minute,” because I know people out there do, but you don’t need to. Sarah: Yeah, yeah. It’s so much easier said than done. It’s like, “Okay. Don’t doubt my body.” That’s what I mean. I think for some of us, it is easy to not doubt ourselves. It’s easy to have that confidence. I really needed to work on my confidence. I really needed to work on trusting myself. Meagan: Yes. Sarah: It’s just those quote-on-quote “simple things” that for some of us really take time and a lot of rethinking what we have known about ourselves. Meagan: Mental capacity for sure. Sarah: Yeah, and also, the language that we’re using and the way that we speak to ourselves and then also the way that people are speaking to us like that nurse that was commenting on me only being 2 centimeters and my provider saying, “You should just go ahead.” I had to learn how to take that information and refilter it to just be like, “Oh. That’s their opinion. That’s not truth.” Meagan: Love it. Sarah: That was so much of my VBAC journey and really preparing for stuff. I also was not only like, “How can I have a baby?” because that was the message that I was aiming for from my first, it was, “How can I have a vaginal delivery? How can I have this VBAC?” I took a HypnoBirthing class which covered all of those techniques. It was pregnancy and birth. I even used it in postpartum and was constantly reiterating these tracks that they had of, “You’re doing great. It’s perfect. Believe in your body. Trust in your body.” I needed to put myself into that hypnotic state in order to reframe my mindset to be able to successfully have this. I was just fully embodying everything in that sense. They also say that the color orange is also a really great color for having more activity and oxygen to the brain and really being more clear. I believe it also enhances confidence and happiness, all of those things that you need when you are birthing your baby.Meagan: Very positive. Sarah: Yeah, so I bought this big, fuzzy blanket that was bright orange. I had an orange water bottle and I had all of these little battery-operated tea light candles that were orange. I was like, “I am just covering myself in orange.” I am just all positive thoughts because I needed to have that because I knew, “Okay, if I come across a nurse again and if I come across friends or family–”. People were like, “Oh, what? You’re going to be in the hospital though right?” It was like all of their fears were—Meagan: Projecting? Sarah: Right. Also, after my Cesarean, it was so much like, “Oh, I’m so sorry that that happened to you.” All of these other people’s perspectives bombarded me with second-guessing my decisions and wondering what I just went through. I was having so much doubt because I was not confident in any of my decisions anymore. I was like, “What am I doing?” Now, I feel like I’ve gotten to a point of that true confidence. Obviously, there’s always going to be something else that comes up. Now, I’m dealing with a toddler and a baby and all of these new things, but being able to throw yourself in that position knowing that there are going to be things that come up that are unpredictable and you’re just going to have to renavigate through that. Having the experience of knowing, “I can rethink this situation. I can put myself in something that I’ve never been exposed to before and make it out.” That’s why I took The VBAC Link doula certification. I was already doing some doula work and things like that. I was like, “You know what? I really feel like I need to educate myself as much as I can and become certified that is specifically in something that’s going to prepare me not only for my birth but also to be able to help other people that are going through these same scenarios.”Meagan: Right. That’s why I became a doula. Sarah: Right. Meagan: I was so inspired. I’m like, “No, I don’t want anyone to feel the way I felt.” I can’t take that completely away. I can’t take someone’s feelings away, but I want them to hopefully feel supported, educated, backed, and overall just loved because I lacked that. I lacked that with my second. Sarah: Yeah, yeah. I think it’s just dropping into different communities and finding podcasts like this that are going to be able to be amazing resources to give you that, “Oh, hey. Somebody’s doing what I want to do” or “Somebody’s already accomplished something that I see as a potential for me.” I think that we need to see those examples. We need to have these stories be told because it really helps us see that it’s possible. Sometimes, that’s literally all you need when you’re going through this journey. I felt like I was doing all of the things now again with a different perspective and not only preparing physically but mentally because I knew that was just as powerful and as important as all of those external, surface-level things that you are shown when you’re just preparing for birth in general. Even just staying hydrated and I got certified in postpartum nutrition because I was like, “Something is going on here. There is some sort of disconnect. My body is different. My body has changed.” What I believed about nutrition before is not the same as how I’m experiencing the postpartum period. Honestly, just all of that coming together has been super helpful, so I’m excited to listen to that episode that you’re going to have. Meagan: Yes, me too. Sarah: Yeah, yeah because it’s so much information there that is really being uncovered. It’s a lot of new research. Women’s health in general, I think, is being real.y pushed and needed. That also, I feel like, just helped me. Watching what I was consuming and what I was putting in my body. Maybe it’s old wives’ tales but the dates and the red raspberry leaf tea. I was all about it. Even just different smells and the environment that you’re in played such a part in creating that good, calming atmosphere and just reiterated my confidence and held me centered in my birth. I originally when back to the same provider that was telling me, “Oh, go ahead. Have so many Cesareans.” My kids were about two and a half years apart. I went in. “Hey, I’m pregnant again. I’m ready for this VBAC. Let’s go.” They just kept on saying, “Okay, We’ll see how it goes.” My billing came and basically, the bill was for a Cesarean. I was like, “I don’t understand. I’m going to have a vaginal birth. Why are we billing me for a Cesarean?” They were like, “Oh well, you know, just in case.” I was like, “Just in case I have a vaginal birth. Why is that not a route that we’re leaning toward?” It was right after my anatomy scan at 20 weeks. I switched over to midwives that are in the area and they have, I think, an overall 80% success rate here in Greenville, South Carolina. I believe that if you’re going for a VBAC, they are one of the better providers in the area. They definitely want vaginal births. They want that to be the outcome. Once I switched to them, it was not even a thing. They were just, “Oh yeah. VBAC. VBAC.”Meagan: Let’s do it. Sarah: Yeah, like, “Okay.”Meagan: We’re just going to have a baby.Sarah: Right. I felt so much better. It wasn’t until the very end that I was listed as that, “Oh, too big of a baby,” and things like that, they did suggest doing the scan to see the size. I denied it. I said, “No, thank you.” Meagan: How big was your baby?Sarah: My first was 7 lbs, 14 ounces. Meagan: What?! That is not a big baby. Sarah: No. Mind you, I’m only 5’0”. Meagan: But still. I’ve seen a 5’2” give birth to an 11-pound baby. Sarah: Yeah. Yeah. By no means were my babies big. My second was actually 8 lbs, 4 ounces so he was bigger than my first and he was my VBAC. It’s really just crazy. That’s one thing as a doula, it’s hard for me to hear people be like, “Oh, well my provider thinks that my baby is going to be big.” I’m like, “Okay, but maybe no?”Meagan: Right? Exactly. Like, “Okay, but we could look at it this way too.” I had an interview with someone the other day and she was like, “Well, how do I tell if my pelvis is going to be adequate?” I was like, “Your pelvis is perfect.” She was like, “What?” I was like, “No, really though. Really.” I started talking to her about it and she was like, “Oh.” It’s hard. So you got the diagnosis of “big baby, small pelvis,” but then you look at the baby and you’re like, “But the baby wasn’t big.” So they did the scan…Sarah: I did not do the scan. Meagan: Oh, you didn’t do the scan. That’s right. You declined it. You declined it. Sarah: I declined it because I said, “Well, what is that going to tell me?” If they said, “Big baby,” then I was going to have that in my head. I was like, “Do I need to get it?” And that’s what I really enjoyed about them because they were like, “No. It’s up to you. You can make that decision.” I was like, “Okay. I don’t want it.” Also, the same with the checks toward the end. I was like, “Nope. I don’t want any cervical checks. I’ll just wait until baby comes and we’ll see if I want checks then.” But they were super considerate of all of those things and never made anything along those lines a requirement. If they would have said, “Oh no, we need to have a scan,” that could have turned into some other things. It went, I feel like, as well as it could have. By the time this comes out, he will be over a year old, but right now, he is almost a year old and I am still just absolutely amazed at myself and what was able to happen. Meagan: Yeah. Yeah. Sarah: The birth itself was crazy. I started to have pressure waves, contractions, whichever you want to call them, really early in the morning, and then probably for about an hour, I just let it play out. I didn’t wake up my husband. It was maybe only 3:30-4:00 in the morning so he was still sleeping. We were still hanging out and then it just continued though. I was like, “This is pretty intense already.” I was like, “I think maybe baby is coming. Let’s see what’s going on.”I had a doula again the second time. We were messaging her and she was like, “Okay, yeah. Perfectly normal. They’re probably just going to teeter out and span out. We’ll see where you are in a couple of hours or so.” I mean, they did not slow down. They were super consistent and kept on coming. I’m like, “All right. Maybe if I get in the shower, I’ll be able to relax a little bit. I’ll be able to get through these.” I feel like the shower was one of the worst ideas because I couldn’t even dry my hair off afterward. I was just like, “Just get clothes on me.” I did not want to do anything after getting in the shower. I was constantly using counterpressure which I feel is the best thing for me and I definitely recommend at least trying it. We did all of the hip squeezes. Every time I started to feel the need for one, I would just yell, “Squeeze!” My husband would run over and squeeze my hips. Again, it was just ramping up and getting super intense. I had piles of pillows in my bedroom and wrapping around them. I was on the edge of our little ottoman in our bedroom and then went to the bathroom and just was moving around as much as I could on all fours, side-lying, and things like that. At some point, I was laying on my side, then my water had broken well into it all. I was just like, “Oh my goodness. We need to get to the hospital now. Once that happened, I felt him drop. I was panicking because I mean, I specifically wanted to have a hospital birth because I just felt like that’s where I needed to be to feel at my comfort level, so once that happened and I felt him, I was like, “We need to get to the hospital! I am not having this baby here.” My friend that was watching our oldest had not gotten there yet and our doula was still like– I think my husband was like, “Oh, we don’t want to get to the hospital too early.” He was downplaying everything because of the previous scenario. Now I say, “New baby, new birth.” This is different. We can’t take what has happened from our past births into this new one because it’s going to be a whole different situation. Meagan: Totally, yep. Sarah: Finally, my friend came over and she was watching my daughter and was like, “Okay, yeah. I’ve got her. I’m covered. We’ll take her to our house,” and things like that. We got in the car and I just remember grabbing and holding on to the holy cow bar and having a foot up on the side and just gripping everything around me going through all of the motions. My eyes were closed and I was just like, “Let’s just get to the hospital.” Somehow, we just kept on gaining more time. I think my husband made a wrong turn and I was like, “Just get me there. Get me there.” I think he was panicking. I’m not sure what happened. We finally got there and my doula was standing right at the door of the hospital. There was actually a wheelchair right out there that I thought she had gotten for me. I just jumped right into the wheelchair and she was like, “Oh, okay.” “Wheel me up. We’re having this baby.” I was so ready to go. I was so amped up and so pumped. I later found out that the wheelchair had literally just been left there by somebody that had gotten picked up minutes before, but she was like, “Okay. We’re going in.” I’m gripping my belly, breathing, and everything. I just remember the person at the front that was checking everybody in was like, “Oh no. We don’t do that here. Go straight up.” Sure enough, we got in and I was already at 8-9 centimeters. They were like, “Okay. You’re having a baby. Let’s get you in there.” I really wanted a water birth or at least to be able to be in the tub, so they started to fill up the water when I was in there, but then after they hooked up the monitors and everything, they said, “We don’t really like what’s going on with his heart rate and we’re just going to keep you out.” I was honestly just like, “Okay. It’s not the plan, but let’s just get the baby out.” They checked me again and they were like, “You’re ready to go. You’re ready to push.” The only thing I had to do was get hooked up to antibiotics because I was GBS positive again which was something that I definitely tried to prevent, but I think that’s just one thing with my body. I am just forever GBS-positive. Meagan: Sometimes it happens and we don’t know why. You might be surprised if you have another baby. Sometimes it doesn’t happen. Sarah: Yeah, yeah. They did ask me as I was getting wheeled over to the delivery room, “Do you want the epidural?” I was like, “Heck no. I made it this far.” Meagan: You’re like, “No. I just want to have a baby now.”Sarah: Yeah. It was probably a little over an hour from when I got wheeled in until when he came out. I pushed for maybe about 20 minutes and just that feeling of him on my chest. It’s literally goosebumps. I felt so proud of myself and accomplished and empowered. I was like, “Oh my goodness,” because I didn’t get my daughter to be on my chest with my Cesarean. They had said that that could have been an option and it was not. It was not something that I got to do, so just literally, I didn’t care what he was covered in. I didn’t care what I was covered in. I was like, “Give me the baby.” I mean, honestly, it was such a cool feeling to have that. Meagan: Absolutely. It’s euphoric. You’re in a whole other world. It’s the weirdest thing because you’re there and everyone’s there around you, but you’re in a completely different space. Yeah. It’s a really cool feeling. Sarah: It is. And like I said, he was bigger than my first and when they weighed him and everything, I was like, “See? I can have bigger babies. I can do it.” Meagan: You pushed for 20 minutes. I was like, you pushed 20 minutes with your small pelvis and big baby. Sarah: Yep, yep. I felt on top of the world. I was like, “I can deliver a baby vaginally. I did it.” I took the iconic hand-up-in-the-air photo and was just there snuggling him so much, but yeah. That’s my birth story.  Meagan: Oh my gosh. So amazing, so amazing. I’m so happy for you. I’m so happy that all of the doubt that was placed in the first birth was able to just be washed away at the end where it’s like, “Whoa. Yes. I can do this. I did do this. This is amazing. My body is amazing. My baby is amazing.” Hearing your first story, it sounds to me like– I mean, I wasn’t there. I haven’t seen your OP reports. I don’t know. I didn’t see the tracings, but it sounds like still positional probably, or something like that, so yeah. I’m so happy for you. Sarah: Thanks. Meagan: I’m so happy for you. Sarah: Like I said, it’s been almost a year later and I still get so giddy about it. I think it really allowed me to really– I am appreciative of my Cesarean because I feel like if it wasn’t for that, I would not be so called to do this work and such an advocate for it and so wanting to be a part of the birth community as hard as I am. I think we have to take those experiences for what they are and like we were saying earlier, learn from them and really grow with them and be thankful for it and just heal from it and see where you’re still hung up and what needs to be processed. But go into another birth with a completely different perspective and mindset and just what it is. Finding a provider and finding a location where you feel safe, finding a support person, a doula, and things like that, connecting with the community, and really having that comfort is great, but I do feel like we are our one and only true advocates. Meagan: Absolutely. Sarah: We have to take that action. We have to follow through with what we’re learning and like I said, listening to this and being a part of online communities, in-person communities, and things like that is great, but if you’re not implementing what you’re learning and you’re actually taking those actions, it has to click. It has to be like, you do your homework, you study for the exam, and you pass. It’s just like one of those things where I feel like you have to really embody it and when I hear people say, “Oh, it’s so easy.” I’m like, “It was not.” In the end, overall, it’s like when you’re running a race. You have to train for it. You have to be a runner in order to complete it without stopping or feeling exhausted. It’s a lot and I think that’s one thing that is sometimes overlooked. With my first, “I’m just going to walk into the hospital. I’m just going to have this baby.” What needs to be done? I think it’s just those kinds of things. You really have to ask yourself, “Am I honestly doing the things that I need to do? Am I implementing them into my life? Am I drinking my water? Am I clearing my fears? Am I healing from my first birth? Am I asking my provider all of the questions that I have? Am I not embarrassed to find the resources that I need? Am I clearing out all of that negative feedback from other people? Am I doing those things and am I dropping into communities that are supporting me and cheering for me?” I think that’s where the magic is. That’s when it clicks in and that’s when you really get to feel confident and empowered and happy with your decisions moving forward. That bleeds into motherhood. I think that bleeds into the whole postpartum period and really just continuing to build that confidence in yourself is my favorite thing that I learned in motherhood. Meagan: I couldn’t have said it better. I mean, really. You just nailed it. All of those things are so important. In the end, we have the support. We have the processing. We have all of those things, but in the end, we still have to tune into ourselves and you have to believe in yourself. You have to have that. You can have a huge team of believers and cheerleaders, but you also have to cheer for yourself. I love it. Thank you so much, so so much for all of the information. Sarah: Yeah, this has been so much fun. Honestly, thank you so much. ClosingWould you like to be a guest on the podcast? Tell us about your experience at thevbaclink.com/share. For more information on all things VBAC including online and in-person VBAC classes, The VBAC Link blog, and Meagan’s bio, head over to thevbaclink.com. Congratulations on starting your journey of learning and discovery with The VBAC Link.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-vbac-link/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands