Titanic II

It's the Asylum again, back for another sight-unseen commentary, this time with 100% fewer giant monsters! I don't know if that's a good thing, but it certainly makes for a higher quality film, easily besting the original 1997 James Cameron romantic-tragedy epic boo-hoo-fest, which I hated like Pol Pot and Baby Doc Duvalier. There are no pop stars in this one, just a solid performance by Bruce Davison, a welcome bit by Brooke Burns, and a decent job by writer/director/star Shane Van Dyke as well as by the lips attached to Marie Wesbrook. I make fun of some names, some effects, and various ship nonsense. At times, I long for a mega shark and pray for the iceberg to eat a helicopter, but overall I liked it and was rather impressed by it. If this had been put out by a major studio with Roland Emmerich money for effects and advertising, it would have been a genuine blockbuster. (Which is different from saying it would have been a good film, by the way.)