The End of Self-Help with Gail Brenner

Psychologist and author, Dr. Gail Brenner, shares about the healing power of being present and compassionate with whatever is going on within us. And how when we begin to recognize that there is no ‘out there’ in our lives – there is only our perception – that we begin to suffer less.Gail Brenner’s interest in suffering and the end of suffering is long standing. Like you, she just wanted to be happy. She put together a functional life of work and friends, but was continually plagued by anxiety, confusion, and relationship troubles. In her search for peace, she came across spiritual teachings about the nature of happiness. And she made some life-changing discoveries including that the more she became disinterested in thoughts—any thoughts—the happier she was.You can find Dr. Gail Brenner at GailBrenner.com.You can listen above, on your favorite podcast app, or watch on YouTube. Notes, links, resources and a full transcript are below. Show Notes* How meditation can teach us to be with our experience * Having compassion for everything that arises within us * How believing what the mind tells us can be a source of suffering * Welcoming and relating to all the different parts of ourselves with out judging them * How we can get stuck on the path of healing * How happiness is our natural state * How peace never leaves us, we simply place our attention on other things that we believe cause us suffering * The feeling of separation that is at the root of trauma * How there is no life ‘out there’; there is only what we perceiveResources Mentioned in this Episode* Rumi poem: The Guest HouseTranscript of Interview with Dr. Gail BrennerAlexandra: Dr. Gail Brenner, welcome to Unbroken.Gail: Thank you. Very happy to be here.Alexandra: I’m happy to have you here.Why don’t you tell us a little bit about your background and how you came to realize you didn’t need self-help?Gail: My background, how far back should I go? I’ll just start professionally. I’m a psychologist, and I’ve been a psychologist for a long time. It’s a profession that drew me many years ago. We heal ourselves as therapists or practitioners, and as much as we help other people. So I think that was part of my motivation early on.My training was pretty conventional. And then things started really moving and shifting and changing for me, when I started meditating. This was about a little over 20 years ago at this point. I had been in therapy myself for a very long time, and didn’t at this point, I can say, I didn’t get a lot of change from that, that I was looking for. So I kept looking. I had this spirit in me of like, well, there’s got to be something else out there to help with the way that I my version of suffering.I started meditating. And that really started changing everything, because of the way meditation teaches us to be with our experience. So to be aware of what’s arising in us; sensations, emotions, whatever it is. And when I first started meditating, I was shocked at how many different energies I found in my body and different emotions that I didn’t even know were there. And the fact that I was suffering started to make sense, like, oh, there’s a whole lot going on in here that I didn’t realize, and that is probably something I should pay attention to.That was the beginning of a spiritual path for me. So combining my psychology background with my interest in spirituality, really supported my quest to find happiness and discover how to be happy. And whereas happiness I knew it was possible,