67. Is It All About Control?

You’ve probably heard it said: “Eating disorders are a way to maintain control.” The connection between control and eating disorders is a phenomenon people talk about all the time. It’s not untrue, but honestly, I’m not the biggest fan of it. Here’s why.    The biggest problem with the idea is that it’s so vague. What does “control” mean? Control of outside events? Control of how we feel? Control of other people and outcomes? What does control actually mean, and in what ways do eating disorders help maintain control?    To me, saying that all eating disorders are a way to maintain control just seems like a reductionist statement. 🤷🏻‍♀️     I think the most important thing to realize about control is that, even if you don’t have an eating disorder, a lot of behaviors are used to maintain some semblance of control. OCD, anxiety, and even people trying to control conversations are all examples. In this episode , we’ll explore what our behaviors are trying to control, and what control really means.   Tweetable Quotes “The idea that we can control how we feel, which emotions emerge… and the idea that we can control what’s going on externally with other people, our health, the state of the world… is completely an illusion.” – Rachelle Heinemann    “Striving for internal calmness rather than internal chaos is the goal of working toward some semblance of ‘control.’” – Rachelle Heinemann   “Let’s try to lean into it. Let’s try to use our emotions as information and be okay with whatever reactions are happening internally.” – Rachelle Heinemann   “We’re not striving for control; we’re striving for calmness.” – Rachelle Heinemann   LEAVE A REVIEW + help someone who may need this podcast by sharing this episode. Be sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter here! You can connect with me on Instagram @rachelleheinemann, through my website www.rachelleheinemann.com, or email me directly at [email protected]