Coming Alongside

From his houseboat where he “rides the tides of life”, Frank Ostaseski bears his humanity and demonstrates how to tenderly and honestly meet another’s suffering. Frank offers no prescriptions. “I find that advice rarely helps. Better to do someone’s laundry or help them figure out their insurance forms.” When we come alongside one another, there is “no leader and follower, no helper and helped, no healer and healed. Just healing.” He challenges our assumptions that as Buddhist caregivers we need to offer Buddhist perspectives to help others see their true nature. “As the world of a person receiving caregiving changes, guidance for what to do needs to be based on their needs.” Instead of clinging to our learned roles and their predictability, we must build empathetic bridges by facing our own fears, our helplessness, and our strength. This is hard work and his reminder to us is simply “be humble, be humble.”