Ask Amy- My Teen Has Zero Interest In Getting A Driver's License

Teens today are driving less, and later, and are far less motivated to drive than we were. The number of 16-year-old licensed drivers in the United States decreased from 46.2 percent in 1983 to 25.6 percent in 2018. But shouldn't our teens learn how to drive? Isn't that a skill they're going to want to have at some point? And how do we get them to buy into that, instead of it becoming something else for teens and parents to fight about? This is how a listener put it on our Facebook page: My almost 17-year-old does not want to drive. We put him through drivers ed, and it was like pulling teeth to get him to practice. He has ADHD and is terrified of wrecking.  My question is, do we push him to at least get his license or let it go? I’ll give you one guess which parent wants to push…. ADHD is an additional risk factor for young drivers, particularly in the first months of their driving. But ADHD in itself doesn't cause bad driving– it's the risky behaviors to which teens with ADHD are more prone that cause more accidents. This can become a teachable moment to talk with a teen about those behaviors and why they're more dangerous once he's behind the wheel. But giving our kids a sense of self-efficacy isn't just good for them– as Jess Lahey argues in her new book THE ADDICTION INOCULATION, it can be protective, putting them at lower risk for addiction and other risky behaviors. In the long run, a driver's license might help a teen with anxiety. Consistent encouragement, rather than forcing the issue, will hopefully lead to a driving teen– and more independence for everyone in the house– a little sooner. Here are links to some of the writing on the topic that Amy mentions in this episode: Healthline: Teens with ADHD 62% More at Risk of an Accident in First Month of Driving Katharina Buchholz for Statista: Americans Get Driver's Licenses Later in Life American Academy of Pediatrics: Traffic Crashes, Violations, and Suspensions Among Young Drivers With ADHD Jess Lahey for The New York Times: How to Lower Your Child’s Risk for Addiction Special thanks to our "Question of the Week" sponsor: Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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When you're a parent, every day brings a "fresh hell" to deal with. In other words, there's always something. Think of us as your funny mom friends who are here to remind you: you're not alone, and it won't always be this hard. We're Amy and Margaret, both busy moms of three kids, but with completely different parenting styles. Margaret is a laid-back to the max; Amy never met a spreadsheet or an organizational system she didn't like. In each episode of "What Fresh Hell" we offer lots of laughs, but also practical advice, parenting strategies, and tips to empower you in your role as a mom. We explore self-help techniques, as well as ways to prioritize your own needs, combat stress, and despite the invisible workload we all deal with, find joy amidst the chaos of motherhood. If you've ever wondered "why is my kid..." then one of us has probably been there, and we're here to tell you what we've learned along the way. We unpack the behaviors and developmental stages of toddlers, tweens, and teenagers, providing insights into their actions and equipping you with effective parenting strategies. We offer our best parenting tips and skills we've learned. We debate the techniques and studies that are everywhere for parents these days, and get to the bottom of what works best to raise happy, healthy, fairly well-behaved kids, while fostering a positive parent-child relationship. If you're the default parent in your household, whether you're a busy mom juggling multiple pickups and dropoffs, or a first-time parent seeking guidance, this podcast is your trusted resource. Join our community of supportive mom friends laughing in the face of motherhood!   whatfreshhellpodcast.com