FOUR YEARS IN: DISCIPLINE

Let’s talk about, let’s just get straight into it. I’ve been abstaining for four years and there’s a lot I’ve learned, a lot I feel responsible to share and so much more I have to experience on this journey. And yes, I’ll answer the big question immediately because I know you’re thinking about it. Am I waiting for marriage? The answer to this question has evolved over the years and where I find myself presently is that I have the intention to wait for marriage. I want to wait for marriage and I desire to wait for marriage. And so, yes—I am waiting for marriage at this phase in my journey. Transmuting or redirecting your sexual energy doesn’t mean to ignore it. I’m not saying that you should I gore when you’re very obviously aroused, what I am suggesting is that when you feel that way you do something else to honor those feelings and for me that’s writing. For you, it could be painting, listening to love songs——whatever floats your boat. Being able to redirect your sexual energy is a skill itself and it’s to be developed over time so if you’ve just started your abstinence journey don’t feel bad if you do give into your desires and urges. If you masturbate one day, it isn’t the end of the world and you don’t have to start over—-you’re a human being and for most human beings sexual intimacy is something innate. There comes a point in your life where you become aware to your own arousal and you want to explore that energy—the thing is, you don’t have to explore those feelings by having sex with someone. You can reserve that privilege for a specific time and person; for me, that’s my husband once we’re married. For you, that can be your partner once you’re in a committed relationship. It’s different for everybody. And I’m not here to tell you what’s right and what’s wrong, I’m just sharing my experience. In previous episodes I’ve shared why I began abstaining and how I’ve remained comities for years but to summarize it: I began abstaining because I desires and desire a different level of intimacy, romantic relationship and partnership for myself and my partner. And to be more clear, yes I am saying that for me—when dating—the person I’m dating, exclusive dating will need to be practicing abstinence. It’s not impossible ladies, I know it seems like it’s impossible and that there aren’t men who are abstaining; there are. There’s a ton of them, and the one for you will reveal himself to you when the time comes. So don’t worry about it, just keep walking your path. That’s the discipline, staying on your path even nobody else around you is walking that path with you. The path of abstinence and let’s be clear, the path of abstinence when you desire marriage as a woman who wants to be married to a man is realistic. It doesn’t need to be difficult, it doesn’t need to include everyone you know. It’s for you. And it needn’t be religious, I didn’t begin this journey out of religious belief; although it is align with my religious beliefs, and has brought me closer to my faith. My discipline in all a spectacular if my life has improved due to abstaining. It gives you a better clarity and understanding. Honestly you just have to explore when it comes to abstaining Don’t overthink it, you don’t need to put it on front street Just live this experience for as long as you’d like and the moment you really don’t want to , then you can stop but be sure you’re starting and stopping for you. Not because your partner wants to start having sex , not because you think you won’t be introduce to a man that’s willing to wait because he wants to wait for himself. You really shouldn’t be caught up on that anyway.Support the Show.