208: Three reasons why setting limits is hard (and what to do about each of them)
Your Parenting Mojo - Respectful, research-based parenting ideas to help kids thrive - A podcast by Jen Lumanlan - Mondays
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Do you ever wish that you know the appropriate logical consequence to give your child (aged 1-10) for each different kind of misbehavior you see? When your toddler empties the water out of the dog's bowl for the 10th time today... When your preschooler climbs on the table three minutes after you told them to get off it... When your kindergartener refuses to come to the table for dinner (and you know they're going to announce they're hungry in an hour)... When your elementary schooler won't get dressed in the morning (even though you know they are FULLY CAPABLE of doing it themselves) without 300 increasingly nagging, pleading, and begging 'reminders' from you... Wouldn't it be amazing to have the PERFECT logical consequence ready that would be appropriately proportioned to the misbehavior, and also just get your child to do the thing you're asking without you having to ask again??? But here's the thing about logical consequences: they essentially say to our child: "I don't care why you don't want to do this thing; I just want you to do it." If we saw one adult saying that to another adult, we would call it 'emotional abuse.' So why do we do it to our children? Because it seems like we don't have another option to get through the day. We actually have many other options; it's just hard to remember them all and which one to use in which circumstance. In today's episode, I'll tell you the three main reasons why setting limits is hard (and what to do about each of them). And if you want my complete framework for how to navigate misbehavior, with ALL FIVE of the tools we can use and guidelines on exactly WHEN to use each of them, sign up for the FREE Setting Loving (and Effective!) Limits workshop. We get started on the content on Wednesday April 24 but when you join early you can come and ask me your questions in our private community, get extra Live sessions, and extra chances to win cool prizes.