The Dark Side of People-Pleasing

This week licensed therapist Kati Morton discusses why we can feel overly responsible in life, whether or not dreams can traumatize us, and dealing with constantly thoughts of suicide. She also explains why someone else’s trauma can affect us, what constitutes sexual abuse, and how to overcome nostalgic depression. Audience Questions | Ask Kati Anything episode 227 1. How do we figure out what we're responsible for? Childhood experiences have left me with an over inflated sense of responsibility (or so I'm told). This hyper-responsibility is working with some other beliefs in hindering my ability to process a more recent trauma... 00:55 2. This question has got nothing to do with me, it’s just something that I’m just wondering. People dream horrible things fearing for their own life and safety. As dreams feel absolutely real while you’re dreaming them, I’m just wondering, could you get traumatized by dreams? 05:20 3. This year I have become really suicidal and am struggling with it every single day. My depression is so strong right now I can’t find joy in anything. I also have this feeling like I should be able to do something to make these terrible thoughts go away but there’s nothing. My therapist isn’t super helpful so I was wondering if you had any advice or could just talk about suicidality. 14:10 4. How do you get over trauma that isn’t even yours?! I wasn’t the one abused so why do I feel so bad???? Recently the church/school I grew up in has had a series of sexual abuse cases come out; a good friend of mine being one of them. The school/church was always legalistic and used corporal punishment but these new things are just coming out and being prosecuted. I found out my parents knew about it and blamed my friend/ didn’t believe her and continued to attend and keep us in the school/church for 7 more years. I’m so angry and upset and it didn’t even happen to me! This trauma isn’t mine and I feel like I am overreacting. I want to help my friend and not make it about me, how can I do that when I feel so triggered?? 22:27 5. As a child, I was held down and touched in inappropriate places by an older man (I was in elementary school, and he was about 10 years older). I was not raped and no clothes were removed, but I wonder if that is still sexual abuse? I only recall it happening once. Also, would remembering that experience cause a lot of anxiety and pain behind certain annual female appointments? 25:56 6. Can you talk about Nostalgic Depression? I already have severe depression but this mirrors my current emotions. I know it is perceiving the past as happier than the present, and unhappiness with current circumstances. I have intense grief over losing my dad in recent years. I also cry often over people I will never see again (death and lost friendships). I feel the same for places I will never see again. Songs, movies from when I was little, lost homes I will never be able to spend time in again, and most good memories cause me intense emotions such as regret, anger and loneliness. Those memories were better than anything I have been feeling for years. I feel like I’m constantly in mourning. 30:23 PUBLISHED BOOKS Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY Join Kati's PATREON community to access more perks: https://www.katimorton.com/kati-morton-patreon/ ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati (enjoy 10% off your first month) SOCIAL X: https://twitter.com/KatiMorton TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@katimorton Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/katimorton1/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/katimorton Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/katimorton1/ PARTNERSHIPS Linnea Toney [email protected] --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/askkatianything/support