Intimacy after kids, with Catherine Topham Sly

In this episode, two couples experts get together talking about the hardship of having sex after having had kids, with the sleep deprivation, change in roles, breastfeeding, exhaustion and possible resentment getting in the way. Don’t worry, we lift you up by also providing hope around how you can reconnect again sexually, with emotional and physical intimacy. Catherine Topham Sly is a BCAP accredited counsellor, writer, and speaker who specialises in relationships, and particularly the challenges of staying connected with your partner while raising a family together. A communication and intimacy specialist, Catherine offers research-based therapy, coaching, and online courses, supporting parents to reconnect and stay close after having kids. We talk about  4:58 Insight and connection 6:33 Physical and emotional intimacy are two sides of the same coin 8:26 Different triggers for sexual desire 10:42 The effects of rejection 11:07 How to break the cycle of rejection 12:26 Avoiding people pleasing 13:43 How much sex are people really having? 15:31 Performative vs connective sex 17:58 Reconnecting after a traumatic birth or the early days of parenthood 19:42 The benefits of reconnecting 21:20 The effect of the coronavirus pandemic on relationships 24:40 Talking about our values 26:39 Advice to expectant parents 28:52 The effects of breastfeeding on libido and intimacy 30:36 Hope for couples who have gone through a long period without intimacy 32:41 Returning to sex 34:26 Getting out of the habit of touching 35:36 Sex doesn't have to be penetrative 36:26 When it's time to go our separate ways 38:22 Seeking help when it's needed 41:03 Setting good habits in a relationship   You can follow Catherine on Instagram @insightandconnection and on Facebook @insightandconnection Pre-order my new book on Amazon. Find me at www.thethomasconnection.co.uk Instagram: @the_thomas_connection Facebook: www.facebook.com/thethomasconnection Pause Purpose Play Facebook group: www.facebook.com/groups/pausepurposeplay    This episode was edited by Emily Crosby Media