Ep. 107: The Shadow of Righteousness: How My Need to Be Right Was Blocking True Connection

In this vulnerable episode of Shadow Work, WTF?, Caitlin shares her recent breakthrough around righteousness – a protective pattern she developed after narcissistic abuse that eventually became a barrier to authentic connection. She walks through her process of recognising, understanding and integrating this shadow without abandoning her core strength of conviction.This episode is for you if:You find yourself getting defensive or combative when others disagree with youYou've been told you're "always have to be right" in discussionsYou struggle to allow others to have different opinions without it feeling threateningWhat we'll cover:How righteousness often develops as protection after gaslighting or emotional abuseWhy both cognitive understanding AND bodily release are essential for integrationThe process of honouring protective parts while transforming how they manifestIf you've ever struggled with black-and-white thinking, found yourself dying on every hill in an argument, or noticed a pattern of righteousness in your interactions, this episode offers a roadmap for understanding the deeper "why" behind these behaviours – and how to begin shifting them without abandoning your core values.Key Points and Timestamps:09:10:00 - The Shadow Emerges The contradiction between Caitlin’s strength (emotional safety) and weakness (inflexibility with opinions).18:09:00 - Meeting the Protector Connecting with the part that developed righteousness as protection after abusive relationships.29:26:00 - Resourceful vs Unresourceful Patterns How protective mechanisms that once saved us can later create disconnection.45:22:00 - The Partner Conversation The vulnerable conversation that triggered deeper awareness and processing.54:05:00 - Recap of the Shadow Alchemy Process Key components: awareness, body connection, gift recognition, and integration.Connect with Us:Loved this episode? Share your takeaways on Instagram and tag me at @shadowalchemycoachingacademy.